Anytime I remember the phrase “20 friends can’t be together for 20 years” it brings to mind the expression on my sage’s face while he taught me the importance of the people I let into my life. According to Jim Rohn, “you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with”. We are influenced by those closest to us either positively or negatively. They have an influence on our decisions, how we act, self-esteem, career, family, and future.
Here’s an important exercise in determining who the type of people in your life are by Leo Widrich How the People Around You Affect Personal Success
Who are the 5 people in your life that you spend time with? As in, if your day has 24 hours, how many of those hours are spent with which people. (I’m guessing amongst people will be some members of your family, your spouse, co-workers and some close friends.) Write those 5 people on a piece of paper. (It’s ok if they are more or less than 5.)
Once you have a list of those 3-5 people, ask yourself this: Who are they? What do they do with their lives? How ambitious are they, how successful have they been, how happy, optimistic, and enthusiastic are they?
Evaluate carefully if those people will really be those that will help you get to the next level you want to get to. Do they push you forward when you come to them with new ideas, no matter what? Or do they tell you that what you have in mind won’t work? Will they keep you going once the birds pick up your seeds, once your seeds fall on shallow or thorny ground?
Make a choice of who in your list you want to continue spending time with. Don’t be afraid if none or only 1 or 2 amongst your 5 people today meet the standard of excellence you want to set for yourself. Keep going, decrease the time you spend, and increase the amount of time you keep your eyes looking for people who you want to have as one of your 5 closest people.
That being said, I came up with a list of 10 people I believe are a necessary addition to the ones already in your life. It’s possible for one person to fill more than one spot. So here goes:
This person always believes in the impossible. There are no boundaries to what you can achieve as believed by this type. People like me that believe “if you’re crazy enough to think it, believe it and make it work, it can happen”. An optimist always see the glass half full and life as an adventure, takes every situation as a new opportunity to learn and be better no matter the challenges. They spread good vibes and promote healthier lifestyles where in they seldom dwell on negativity. They are good motivators and do well at encouraging people to be better versions of themselves. Contrary to popular belief, optimists aren’t unrealistic dreamers without work to show for it. I have no idea what this group of people are called. Optimists are the people you go to for advice when you seek words of affirmation like, “follow your dreams no matter what” or “your dreams are valid”
You won’t get this from the realist that is, the words od affirmation the optimist would give. These guys depend largely on logic. They can be brutal but they understand that people have feelings, and they’re careful to give you their honest opinion without being hurtful. You go to them when you seek cold-blooded advice, because they always tell you the absolute truth.Optimists don’t really blend well with realists, because they often think they’re being pessimistic, but really, it’s not their fault that certain situations don’t promise positive outcomes.
The Fount of Knowledge and Wisdom
Ever met someone who is very intelligent and well-informed about a n array of topics and societal issues? No? Then you’re missing out. Yes? Then you get me. These people are too glad to share their wealth of information. They enjoy intelligent conversations and they are your go to people when you need advice. If you don’t understand them, they can come off as “know it all” to you or sometimes as “show offs”. For the lazy ones, they’re you’re life-sized “Google”. Just give them a call. It’s not just your stomach that needs food, your brain does too.
The Happy One
We all know that by now that happiness is contagious. When Oprah in an Interview with Pharel Willams showed him how his song “Happy” had gone viral and the effect it had on people, he was brought to tears because he had no idea happiness had so much power. Happy people are the best set of people to be around on a bad day, their energy must rub off on you.
No one will agree with me on this one. Keep them because they’re a cheaper social media tool. So when you need word to go out, all you need do is say “Don’t tell anyone “ and watch how far the information goes. Plus sometimes, everyone needs a good gossip for entertainment purposes, just be careful what you share.
The Frugal One
They don’t need financial classes to be good with money. They teach you how to shop for so much with so little. Having a frugal friend has a huge impact on your wallet. You learn to spend on things that matter more. A lot of people believe that you need a certain amount of money to live, eat, or dress a certain type of way. All that changes when you have a frugal friend who understands the importance of looking good on a budget and saving.
One of my favorite people. They never judge your love for food or how much food you order. They know where to find the best of everything food and you guys always have something to do together. Some of them love to cook so there’s always food in their house, lol. The other know the best restaurants in town. They try the weirdest food combinations. If you’re going on a date and confused where to go, hit them up. I have a friend, she trumps all the foodies I know with her intense relationship with food. Constantly tormenting my social media with her food pictures. There’s no separating them.
The Business Expert
This one knows and understands your talents and skills but has a big problem when you don’t know how to monetize them. They take time to equip you with all the knowledge and materials you need to convert your passion into profit. They’d drag you for workshops and seminars. You’d be coerced to learn how to write proposals, business plans, and everything you’d need to be successful in business that you may not realize immediately.
The Tech-savvy One
I don’t know about you but I don’t understand computer jargon and I’m not willing to especially when I’m surrounded by a lot of IT people. The little I know is thanks to this blog and I’m content with that. The rest, I hand over to my tech savvy people. They always have the answers to my problems.
The Prayer Guru
My spiritual life is very important to me. I love the moments when I’m hot like a fiery furnace, I know I can tear down walls. There are those moments when I’m ice cold, it’s so bad I can’t even pray. There’s always that friend that’s there to help you get back up. They know the right words to tell you and they spend time praying for you. There’s always that friend you call to pray for you when you’re about to make an important decision, when you think you’re about to do something stupid, or when your spirit just needs a lift.
Your list might be different from mine, either more serious or less. I’d like to know what your thoughts are